It was a tough Mardi Gras season for me. I've reflected a lot on why this one was more tough than it has been in the past and I came to the realization that I don't respond well to the stress it causes when I have to work during this time of year. I get so anxious and I, unintentionally, start to lose my brain cells. Literally.
See - I was born and raised NOLA. And it's more often than not that I will meet people or work with people who haven't been to Mardi Gras before. Soooo Mardi Gras is, precisely, the time where folks (usually folks not from NOLA originally) take off or don't show up to work. OR it takes, what normally is ten minutes, three hours to get to work because traffic is impossible. For both of my jobs this was a common discrepancy. It just added a lot of stress to an already stressful situation. Top that off with hangry guests and understaffing because employees don't show up, and you have a hot mess. And an anxious Jessica because of all of those reasons. SPEAKING OF ANXIETY---
I was also reminded of the stress I was under this time last year: I remembered how I went into the hospital for a week for anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It's amazing how much my life has changed since then. And I'm still overwhelmed and grateful for all of the support and love I have received since leaving and, basically, beginning a new lifestyle. Not that my old lifestyle was not healthy, but that experience helped me along in what I needed to do to get me out of the rut I was in.
One year later... I am, finally, able to say that I am financially and wholeheartedly independent on me, myself, and I. I can now answer to myself and work on my goals in a space that I call my own. My art is flourishing because I, now, have time to brainstorm my own ideas and create projects.
Since Mardi Gras is over, I will be able to dedicate more time to those projects so I can share them with all of you. But until then, I will continue to create more content for my Youtube page. Jmixplains has become a therapeutic outlet for me to share important elements of my life with an audience who is appreciative of my journey so far. It's easy to judge someone by what the world knows them to be... and I know that I carry a specific image from my respective job and for the roles I have played on various stages in the past. Most people know me from those stages I have entertained them on... and I want to make sure that they get to know the person who motivated herself to get on those stages in the first place.
With that being said--- let me go write this draft for my next episode.